Secret Asian Man- Which State Would That Be?

A remarkably diverse trio of public servants at the ready.

I will reach out through the internet and bop you on the nose, if you thank me for my service.

Mrs. S.A.M and I ventured down the Bourbon Trail recently, which is a very scenic and fun thing to do, even if you don’t prefer bourbon.  You learn a lot and taste just enough that you can drive between stills safely. 

There are 13 distilleries strung out like kernels of corn between Louisville and Lexington.  We ticked off 7. All were unique, but to a one, they all asked if we were current or former military, offering discounts to those who were.  

We aren’t, so I declined.

Mrs. S.A.M, the smartest and wisest person in the household and comfortable, over-sharer always replied, “We’re with the State Department.”

Responses ranged from a shrug to a “Oh? Which State?”  while clicking the full price admission button.

Once in awhile, people would enquire more, and she would give a brief blurb. Probably in response to my eyeroll, she would later say, “No one has any idea what goes on at an Embassy.  We need better PR!”

She’s right, of course. The military gets all the press.  Ultimately, for them it’s more binary. Attack or defend.  Kill or be killed. It’s easy to understand.

But what happens at an Embassy? Here in the Midwest, we’ve repeatedly encountered the comment. “I don’t really know what you all do. It doesn’t affect me, so I guess I don’t pay much attention.”

But, it does affect you. Even in the heartland, what happens in Moscow or Beijing affects all of us.

Here’s how.

When a foreign government wants to talk with the United States, the Ambassador is the voice. The meet with government figures at the highest levels to discuss and formulate policy.

Political offices monitor a foreign government. They inform our government about who’s in charge, how they view the U.S and how they view others. If a government changes or is going to change, these folks are the first to know it and how we should respond. The diplomatic work keeps kids out of war. It can also open up channels for military communication.

And all the talk of peace and a peace process would not occur without hundreds of people laying groundwork and feeling out the other side.  Exploring and discussing and making things happen.  This is where the trust is built.

A country’s economic climate is closely monitored by Economic Officers. Watching prices and industrial output may seem mundane, but so much can hinge on a few numbers.  Our folks model what is going to happen when a government raises fuel prices or the price of bread and what is going to happen to the country’s neediest or wealthiest. Will they tolerate it?  Will there be riots in the street?  How can the U.S. help?

They help promote U.S. products, putting U.S. companies in touch with buyers. How are we going to push those 66 million barrels of Kentucky bourbon overseas? Who wants all these Ohio soybeans?

Building trade affects all of us, especially those who work in industries where products are manufactured. Maybe you are one of the many Americans who work in the supply chain. Know any truckers, warehousemen or sales people? Or maybe you just want a new Toyota or Adidas or T-Shirt from Target or Walmart. After tariffs are imposed, they talk about why and how trade ties can be improved and work toward that goal.

The security and law enforcement offices keeps everyone safe, from the Ambassador to the janitor.  They watch over us. They work with local law enforcement with training and improving law enforcement and enhancing the rule of law. If you’re not sure if that matters, try making a police report to a cop who won’t start working until you give them some “cigarette money”, or who botches the evidence collection. That may seem like it doesn’t affect you, but remember that on your next trip to Cancun or Jamaica.

There are tons of people who help keep the lights on.  Paying bills and signing the contracts. Shipping and logistics. When the Embassy has an event for the host country, these folks make your country look good. Putting our best foot forward for the world

Medical personnel make sure all these Americans who are living in this foreign country with diseases like Dengue and Malaria stay healthy. They also monitor for outbreaks and work to counter pending epidemics

Consular Officers wear several hats. If an American is in need, they are the main contact. If your son or daughter is overseas, say on an exchange program or mission trip, and gets in trouble, they won’t bail him out of jail or pay her medical bills, but they will put him in contact with someone who can help.  They’ll visit them in jail and make sure they being treated humanely. A working legal system isn’t a guarantee in many countries and saying “But, I’m an American” doesn’t make it happen. These people will watch out for you.

If you lose your passport, they are the ones that will help you get home.  

More importantly they are the decision makers at the tail-end of an extreme vetting process that’s been going on for years. Denying and granting visas. Human lie detectors. They are the real wall. A dynamic barrier. Finding a balance between safety and sense.

The Public Affairs Office is the public face of America.  They supervise the social media and speak with the press.  They keep track of how America is perceived overseas. They also help in distributing American culture and values. Keeping the beacon shining had been a huge goal. Promoting education of the world’s youth and getting them to study in the U.S. The more positive someone's experience is with our country the less likely they are to want to do harm to us. They are also more likely to stand up for us in the future.

Aid and development allows another important way to promote the U.S. It is often reported that country ‘X’ receives billions in aid. And, I think, the perception is that we just dump a bunch of money into some bank account somewhere.  But, a vast majority of aid comes with the requirement that it be spent on US products. So, more aid means buying more American.  It is not a zero-sum game where, if they get more, we get less. In reality, if they get more, we get more. It is a win-win.

There are initiatives that help create jobs or keep the environment clean or empower women.  These are, or have been until recently, global priorities. Created with the idea that stronger, more stable nations are better trading partners.  Safer countries send us less people in distress. 

The primary mission is to advance the interests of the United States and its people. Putting America first has always been the mission. It is nothing new.  But, we also all do well when we all do well.

So, that’s the PR spiel. A little plug about what goes on in an Embassy and how it factors in back home. We do this because we love our country and our jobs. Even if we don’t get discounted bourbon, we are happy to serve, so that America can reap the benefits.  

Secret Asian Man: Speaking of School Safety.

Spawn of S.A.M graduated from an undisclosed school in Asia. It was a beautiful campus for 2000 kids or so. Rooftop water garden, covered amphitheater, snack bars, a couple sports fields, smoothie bar.

It was also a fortress. It's not just schools. Cars are searched before entering most shopping malls.  Metal detectors and frisking takes place at all the doors. Even IKEA!  Who hates the Swedes for God’s sake?

The school grounds had 20 foot fencing surrounded the place.  Topped with razor wire or spikes. There were two entrances for cars and people. Every car was searched on entry. Trunks were opened, mirrors were thrust underneath. Each and every car. Large metal gates and barriers raised and lowered all day long.

Classroom doors were all rated to stop an AK-47 round.  Whether they would stop two rounds was another question.

They painted the walls with bright colors and positive affirmations to disguise the fact that they were walls.

Guards were posted by the score at the entrance. Each equipped with a panic button. A few had guns. They all smiled at the kids. Maybe that was part of the training. Maybe the kids were just funny.

No one got in without a photo ID. There were checkpoints within the school. Cameras were pervasive. It would be hard to find a blind spot there.

Guns were restricted as they are in most countries. Getting a paintball gun required a permit. There were always more guards than the capacity of a magazine, in the hope that the last one standing could hit the panic button.

Prior to spawn’s attendance; someone did toss a grenade or pipe bomb over the wall one day. No one was hurt. They raised the wall by a foot or two.

That's how they harden schools abroad. It's a huge infrastructure investment . It's a huge labor cost.  One might even call it a jobs program.

“What's your profession?”  

“I'm a doorman and a target.”

How hard should the walls and doors be?  How many bullet stoppers can we afford?  

   

Schools can be protected. If there are no limits to resources, then the walls can be as high as you want them to be and the guards can out number the bullets. But if there are limits...

S.A.M-Travel Insecurity

I read on the news wires recently about how the TSA failed to find some 90% of illegal items when inspectors tried to get them through.  

Here in Indonesia it seems they’re actually getting better.  Or at least their practicing to more stringent standards.

When I first started traveling from here, my bags would be scanned, but I was never sure if anyone was at the screens looking at the images.  I never took off my belt or emptied my pockets.  When I set off a detector, I was given a wand over that usually confirmed that I had some metal on me, but they never asked to see it.  It seemed like they just wanted to confirm that their big metal detector was working okay. They’d wave me on through.

Lately, though, they’ve made me take out my laptop and take off my belt and empty my pockets.  They even made me take off my, mostly plastic, watch.  This watch never sets off an alarm at any U.S airport. On a recent trip from Jakarta, though, it set off the alarm and they made me go back through.

There are still some gaps in the net, though.

On the same trip where I had to remove my watch and walk back through the magneto portal, I caught up with my baggage and a security guard waiting for me.

Guard:  “Sir, is this your baggage?”

Me: “Yes.”

Guard:  “Are there scissors in here?”

Now, it is hard to convey, through this written medium, the power of the “Force” at work in this situation.  But, let me tell you it was amazing!

Me: “No, there are no scissors.”

Guard: (To Monitor watching Guard.  In Indonesian.)  “He says there are no scissors here.”

Monitor watching guard:  “Okay. Let him pass then.”

Guard: (To me)  Okay, sir. Thank you. You may go now.”

And, so I moved on.  

This was all witnessed by my incredulous daughter who muttered all the way down the concourse.  

“We are going to die, we are going to die, we are going to die!  It would be so easy to do something.  I can’t believe anyone can just talk their way out of an inspection!”

“Is that a handgun in your bag?”

“No. It is not a handgun.”

“Okay. These are not the droids we’re looking for. Have a nice day!”

The Second 24 hours

Fitfully resting since 3 am, I wake for good at 5 AM. We’ve a ride coming at 6:30.  I am fatigued. I’m not in tears, but I can feel them close.  I wake up Z. She grunts. She slept better than I did. Says she misses her friends.

Downstairs I try and make some toast. I receive an electric shock from the seemingly new toaster.  I begin to worry.  How am I supposed to provide support to people when I can’t even toast a piece of bread.

Today, we both must go to the embassy to check in and do lots of paper work. It sounds like another scavenger hunt.  Z comes down for her non-toasted bread.  I can see some fear and sadness in her. But, without being told, she has dressed herself very professionally.  I compliment her.  She says, “Dad, I’m going to the American Embassy.  I have to present well.”  It is a much needed moment of parent pride.  

We catch our ride.  Our sponsor gives us some more info on things.  We arrive at the Embassy and a mermaid beckons to us in the lobby.  There is a Starbucks.  I break my own travel rule (Never shop where you can shop at home) and agree to a cup of coffee.  It is refreshingly familiar.

I need to go to a meeting on the one floor and Z is offered access to the internet on another floor.  She drools and twitches and stumbles on her way to the keyboard.

I’m to be introduced to the staff at the meeting, but before I can there is fire alarm and we all must evacuate.  I think of my daughter upstairs and sprint up to find her still sitting at the computer, sirens blaring, lights flashing

“Hey, we should evacuate.”  

“Okay, but I wasn't done chatting.”  There may be claw marks on that keyboard.

Everything is okay, though. Someone was smoking in Starbucks.  We all go about our business.

Toward the end of the day we head to a Mall to get SIM cards and further plug back into the hive.  All malls have metal detectors at the entrances.  This is a rather false security though.  At work I was given a walkie talkie and some small boxes to take home for emergencies.  It is all bundled up in bag with the antennae sticking out.  Despite my concerns that it looks like an explosive device, we waltz through without a problem.

We achieve success in getting SIM cards and getting a new toaster.  There is more clarity in Z’s eyes now.  Her thumbs move instinctively while she walks.

We are finding more and more familiar items.  Bacon, and pork it seems, is not that hard to come by.  I know I keep mentioning bacon. I don’t actually eat that much of it, but I read that it would be hard to get.  Alcohol, too, I was told is not really common, but maybe that is only in outlying areas.  Here in the city, it’s in every store.  Along with Dunkin Donuts and KFC.  Heck, KFC sent me my first Indo text message.  There’s a delicious deal right now.  I can even order a bucket by text.

We make it home before sunset. On the equator the sun sets about the same time year round.  I head for the pool to cool off and unwind.  The din of traffic gradually quiets and the Muslim call to evening prayer commences.  We must live in the area of several mosques, for the song comes over loudspeakers from all directions.  It is quite nice to listen to, except for the guy to the west.  He’s a little flat.

I float on my back, the songs, the birds, the setting sun.  This could be okay.