F.A.S.T Indonesian

I'm now two weeks into my F.A.S.T. Indonesian course here in DC.  I have now idea what F.A.S.T. stands for.  I know that it is 29 weeks shorter than the regular course.  Still, though, it is pretty intense. 5 hours in class per day, plus the expectation that one studies for another 2 hours or so. If you spend any time organizing your notes and reviewing online, you can get there pretty easily.

What I do know is that so far, it is enough to dredge up the remains of German and Greek from years before along with the crumbs of Spanish, Nepali, Italian, Fijian and French from travels or from  when I make the sexy-talk.  "ou est la bibliotheque?" 
(See the Lyrics here!!)  After seven hours a day I find it difficult to do anything but babble even in my own mid-west mother tongue..

I've been trying to remember, and I can't recall ever studying just one subject this intensely.  It is a different way of learning and I think there is something to be said for it, if the teachers can make it interesting.

You seldom address another person in Indonesian by their first name alone. It is always with Ibu (bu) for females or Bapak (Pak) for males. My class name is Pak S.A.M.  There is woman in our class from Thailand. Her name is Nanna and thus, Bu Nanna is a source of mild amusement for me whenever she is called upon.

We have two teachers (Gurus) for the six students. Both gurus stand less than 5'3" and are very patient. On day-one they talked about our learning styles and whether we were "highway learners" preferring to get our knowledge the most efficient way possible, or "open field learners", off blazing our own trails.

Bu Maria is the driver and the highway teacher, teaching us from on ramp to exit ramp. Pak Irwan is the open field teacher.  He is the “Mr Miagi” of instructors, always throwing us curve balls. After a few hours of practicing a rote dialogue he preaches mystically in his thickly accented English, "Don't answer the dialogue. Don't listen to the pattern. LISTEN to the question. The answer always lies in the question!" And we go on, waxing verbs and painting pronouns.

Instead of always reading dialogues, we often practice by writing our own “Dick and Jane” stories.  I sometime can’t resist throwing Mr Miagi a curveball of my own by pairing up Abdul with Bambang in a relationship.  

Mr Miagi sputters “What are you saying here, Pak S.A.M? Are they boyfriend and boyfriend?!”

“Ya, Pak. They are”

“Oh.”  He really is a patient man.

Our first two weeks culminates in a trip to the Indonesian Embassy. The Ambassador is throwing an end of Ramadan reception (Eid) and we are all invited. We spend several hours polishing up our conversations, so we are prepared for whatever questions the ambassador may throw at us.

We arrive and head to the reception line.  We shake hands and wish him well.  He thanks us and says nothing further.

We pass through the buffet and mingle amongst the crowd to practice our skills and quickly learn that we know 200 words of Indonesian and that is less than  three year old. Which is what I’m sure we sound like.  I got very good at saying, “I’m sorry I don’t understand” and “Could you please repeat that?”

I’ve got a lot to learn.

The Huggers

Sky lanterns are paper balloons with a wax fuel pellet suspended from the bottom.  You light them and let the paper balloon fill with hot air and then release it to fly away somewhere until the pellet burns out.

I bought some sky lanterns for my daughter Z.  It was near Christmas and it was Cyber Monday at that.  I hadn't really formed a list, but all the media were telling me that I had to buy something on Cyber Monday to get the best deals. So, I went shoppin’. (www.justartifacts.net/sky_lanterns)

Sky Lanterns came across my screen and I thought my daughter would like them.  She likes fire and outer space.  I figured it was a perfect gift.  I bought 6, thinking maybe they would make a good stocking stuffer.  At cyber-checkout, they told me I would get free shipping if I bought $50 dollars or more.  So, I bought 36 Sky Lanterns.  It was a pretty big box. Maybe Z would need a bigger stocking.

Though at first perplexed, she later thanked me for the gift and displayed her gratitude by stowing them in the basement.

Skipping ahead to summer, I was home from DC for the holiday. We gave the Fourth of July Fireworks a miss, so I asked Z that evening if she’d like to launch a few of the lanterns.

“I thought we’d go over to the high school down the street and launch one from the football field”

“Isn’t it locked?” she asked dubiously..

“Nah, I saw a deer on the 40 yard line the other day.  There has to be a way in.  Like Grandpa used to say, ‘Confucius say, if a dog is on the roof, there must be a way up!’”

I asked Mrs. Secret-Asian-Man if she wanted to go along, but she thought she’d better stay behind in case we needed bailed out of jail.

Off we walked down the street. Z was keen, but muttering under her breath about getting caught.

“Do you want to go back?  We could find another field. I just thought this one was closer.”

“No, no!  Let’s stick to the plan.”

We walked along the fence looking for a gap or another way in, because really, I did see a deer in the middle of the field. The deer must have been a jumper because we couldn't find any obvious holes.

“I guess we’ll have to climb the fence”, I said.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Z, we can go back if you want.”

“No, this is an easy climb.”  And, over the chain link fence she went.   “Aren’t we trespassing?” she asked, as she hit the ground.

“Actually, right now, YOU'RE trespassing.”

“Dad! Get over here!”

And, a’trespassing I went.

We walked out to the 20 yard line, unfolded the lantern and set it on the ground.  I lit the corners of the fuel pellet and through the papery lantern it cast a bright glow across the field, but it didn't appear it be in any hurry to float away.

We heard the clink of beer bottles in the distance, then a yell.  “Fire! WTF!”

Z hissed “Dad! There is someone over in the bleachers!”

“Yeah? Well, I’ve got a large burning object in my hands, so, it’s too late now!”  I steadied the lantern hoping it would heat up enough to lift off quickly.  While waiting I mentally checked my pocket for my phone to call Mrs. S.A.M for bail or help.

Then footsteps and voices approached.  “Sky lanterns! I love sky lanterns!”  Two wispy figures in long dresses traipsed into the glow.  “These are the best! We light them off at music festivals all the time!  Have you done this before?”

“No. Does it show?”

“You have to hold them up and be careful not to catch them on fire.  We want to help you with your first sky lantern experience!”

Yes, it did go on quite like that.  Wispy druids smelling of Corona and maybe Patchouli, removed of most filters, going on about all the musical festivals and the lanterns they’d lit and the tree that caught fire that one time (Yikes!)  We set off two more lanterns, the four of us in a small circle guiding each one on its way. 

Both women were named Calista (What’re the odds that both their mothers were Ally McBeal fans?). One went by Cali and the other, Cal.  They both were in dog training school. (Okay, this is weird. Two people named Calista in Dog Training school?)  A third druid, Olyvia, appeared.  She’d been waiting in the shadows.

Cali turned to my daughter and asked, “What’s your name?”

“Z”

“Hi, Z, I’m Cali and I’m a hugger” at which point she leaned in for a hug.

To me, “What’s your name?”

“Secret Asian Man”

“Hi, I’m Cali and I’m a hugger.”  Yes, so I’d heard.  We hugged. “Okay, so we’re headed out.”

I asked to be shown the way in and out as I’m sure these women in their long dresses did not climb the fence.  They pointed toward a gate on the far end of the field and said there was gap to slip through. We all headed that way chit-chatting.  

Z said, relieved, “I thought you guys were the police”

Cali said, “Technically, what we’re doing isn’t illegal.”

Z replied, neutrally, “Trespassing is sort of illegal.” Which received a shrug.

We all slipped through the gap, the wispy ones a little more easily than us, and said our goodbyes.  “Thanks for sharing your sky lanterns with us!

“Thanks for keeping us from setting the field on fire.”

And with that, Z and I walked home. “Why do huggers feel their needs outweigh others?  I’m not a hugger, shouldn’t I have a say in the introduction?”, she asked.

“That’s true.  Substitute ‘licker’ for ‘hugger’ and you might be dealing with a felony.”

The following day driving by the high school, Z said, “That was a lot of fun. I’ll never pass that place without thinking about the huggers.”

Parasite

Secret Asian Man has heard tell that’s he’s acquired some followers and is quite appreciative.  He’s also quite aware that he’s been negligent in keeping those followers informed.  

I’ve also heard inquiries about how one follows this blog without waiting on notification on Facebook.  That’s easy to do.  

Just click on “Follow by Email” button somewhere over here --------------------------------->

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One interesting aspect of all this training is that you get to go back and review things that you’ve learned in the past.  Or maybe look at things in more depth.  

Recently, we spent two full days in the Tropical Medicine Department at the Uniformed Medical Health Services Hospital in Bethesda looking about all the invasive lifeforms that can harm you.  Schistosomiasis, Leishmaniasis, Ascariasis, Malaria etc.

It was like going back to Medical School but “funner.”  And, I’m not sure why that was. Maybe it was the flood of information that was being presented at the time way back when.  Maybe I was too distracted trying to find Mrs Secret Asian Man.  It may have been the teaching materials.  

Way back when we had textbook and microfiche photos that we spend hours pouring over, but nowadays, there’s YouTube which really makes the material a lot more interesting.  

If you’ve got time here’s a cool video on Malaria…..

http://youtu.be/1UTJ38D0ukw

And, if you have the stomach for it, here’s a really cool movie of a worm being extracted from someone’s gallbladder.  If I may be so Buzzfeed, you will be amazed by what you see at the 4:45 min mark! Seriously, you won’t stop watching.

http://youtu.be/1XId87aphbQ

But, we also studied things the old fashioned way, which was a good way to reinforce the learning.  We got out the microscopes made our own slides and spent hours looking at samples, trying to spot things that could be seen out in the field.  It really was more fun than you could imagine looking at feces and blood.